I’m not happy unless I’m moaning…

There is nothing/no-one that doesn't irritate the shiz out of me!!!

Tess Daly

Big face, big features, big facial expressions…. big clasped hands….. Tess is biiiiiiiig on the irritation scale. Her false banter & gameshow host mannerisms are horrendously cringe-tastic & she’s ruined the enjoyment of Strictly for many a viewer for many a year. Maybe they’ll give the gig to Winklepicker next year & Tess can stay […]

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Scarlett Moffatt

Yeah yeah, controversial.. the nations new darling & current Queen of the Jungle… I know. I’d already started going off her towards the end of her stint on Gogglebox – now she’s got a radio show & her own book (honestly??!!) she’s just not as funny. It’s all a bit boring & try-hard & as […]

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Noel Edmonds

Being off sick has given me two blissful days of daytime TV…& two days of reminders of what a prize bellend Noel Edmonds is. So I gather Deal or No Deal has actually been axed but they’re re-running it. Is daytime TV really that desperate? The irritation levels reach peak when he insists on implying […]

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Andy Murray

Hair, clothes, voice, personality, Mum, Wife, weasly little mug……. there’s nothing about Andy Murray that doesn’t annoy the sh*t out of me. How can someone with no expression or personality have such an annoying expression & personality??! He whines & sulks when things don’t go his way & it’s everyone’s fault but his own. He’s only winning […]

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(Sir) Paul McCartney

What is that scare-cut all about? He needs to get those long, wispy, collar-tickler bits cut. Pronto. AND he talks so slowly you’d think he’d had a stroke*. * no offence to anyone who’s had a stroke

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Jess Woodley (Made In Chelsea)

Tiny, scruffy little rat of a human. I know you’re not supposed to trust people who’s eyes are too close together.. but what if their eyes are just really small & slitty?? Why oh why does she think she looks all cool & boho with that ridiculous nose ring??!!  Or that stupid fringe, for that matter. […]

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Kylie Minogue

What she lacks in stature she makes up for in pure, pixie-like irritation. How squeaky & talent-less is her voice? How big are her gnashers? Is she really the ‘Nations’ Darling’ just because her bum once got an award & she was one half of Scott & Charlene?

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Keira Knightly

TEETH.  It’s all about the teeth… & the chin. Oh, and her serious ‘bite’ (it’s not an overbite & not strictly an underbite… so is it just a bite??)  Whatever it is, it’s annoying. Don’t smile at me, Knightly.

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Russell Howards’ Sister

Aaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! If you saw her on Sunday Brunch yesterday, you’ll know!!! West Country Bumpkin overdoing it on the ‘comedy’ and if I were one of the other guests, I’d have jabbed my elbow in her yokel ribs so hard every time she muscled her way in first for the grub tasting. Have some decorum woman. […]

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Cheryl Fernandez-Versini

Looks like someone’s frail, old, embarrassing Aunty with her suit jackets draped over her bony shoulders & dancing to Reggie & Bollie like she’s a ho! …& Chezza – I know you’re skinnier than Skeletor nowadays but don’t think I didn’t notice you suck your cheeks in just as the camera panned over to you […]

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