Is it too much to ask that you out-source your ‘customer services’ to English-speaking, fully compos-mentis staff who possess communication skills & have more than 1 brain cell?

This is a rhetorical question & the answer is obviously yes – it is too much to ask.

There are many, many examples under this topic however, I have today had a very bemusing call with my credit card company about a payment to my account that was returned.

The call centre is in Ireland & Mrs Doyle has been trying to resolve my issue whilst making Father Ted his tea…

Her:  Can I have your name please?
Me:  Tara McWilliams
Her:  Thank you, can I have your name?
Me:  That is my name…
Her:  Oh OK Miss McWilliams, how can I help?

I then explained the situation & asked why the payments were returned to me.

Her:  Let me look at the system Miss McWilliams.. just one second now, oh I’ll need to put you on hold Miss McWilliams.. I’m back now Miss McWilliams & I can see we have charged you £1.31 on 8th June.
Me:  Erm, well, yes that’s correct but….
Her:  Thank you for confirming that Miss McWilliams, that will be £55.43.
Me:  Errrrr, what will?
Her:  Sorry Miss McWilliams, I’ll just need to check the system again.
Me:  What for?
Her:  I just need to switch screens… one second Miss McWilliams, I’ve got your account up now. That will be £64.72.
Me:  WHAT WILL????!!!! What are these amounts that you’re saying to me??!!!!
Her:  Miss McWilliams, I’ll have to call you back. My name’s Angela & I’ll call back regarding your queries. Thanks bye.

WHAT HAS JUST HAPPENED???? 1/2hr later, Angela calls back.

Her:  Miss McWilliams, it’s Angela. I’m terribly sorry about earlier but my system was slow. I’ve now got your account details Miss McWilliams & I can see we’ve charged you £1.31.
Me:  Yeeeeesssssss… that’s not my query.
Her:  Sorry Miss McWilliams, what was your query?
Me:  OK, so….
Her:  *interrupting* Miss McWilliams, I’m just going to refund that charge for you. I’m going to do it right now.
Me:  Thanks Angela {you’ve literally chunnered your way through a call making no sense whatsoever to me, or even to yourself, & then announced mid-sentence that you’re refunding me (a refund I didn’t actually ask for, so that’s a bonus!)} Have a good day.
Her:  You too Miss McWilliams, can I help with anything else just now?
Me:  Not right now Angela, no. I’m struggling to come to terms with what’s just occurred & I need to stop my legs from shaking. Then, I’ll consider re-attempting to get my actual query resolved….

I feel like I’ve been Punk’d…….!!!!